You read it here first: The Donald’s 2016 acceptance speech

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Given the latest polls, I think it’s time to prepare ourselves for the inevitable: Donald Trump will be the Republican Party’s nominee for president in 2016. In fact, confidence inside the Trump operation is so high that they have already drafted the acceptance speech that he will give at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland on July 21, 2016, barely one year from today.

The following is the text of that speech, leaked by sources in the Trump campaign who requested anonymity:

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Thank you. I’ve done an amazing job, haven’t I?  Thank you. This is beyond anybody’s expectations.

These pundits — very stupid people, these pundits — they said Donald Trump could not win this nomination. Unbelievable. They said too many people don’t like me. Foolish. People love me. I’m rich. I’m not saying that to brag, because you know what? I don’t have to brag. I don’t have to, believe it or not. Because I have a net worth of $8,737,540,000.

That’s the kind of thinking our country needs. We need that thinking. I’m rich and everything I do is the best. I build a hotel — it’s the best hotel. I build a golf course — it’s the best golf course. I build things very very well.

This nomination — which I love — I got it for two reasons. Number one, I’m really smart. Number two, the other people were stupid. Unbelievably stupid. And I’ll add in the third, people love me.

So. Hillary Clinton. She called me to congratulate me, very nice. Said she was thrilled to have me as her opponent. Very nice. Haven’t seen her since my third wedding. But nobody will be tougher on Hillary than Donald Trump. Nobody. Believe me, folks. We will do very, very well, very, very well.

Foreign policy. Hillary is terrible. Just terrible. This Iran deal, she says she likes it. Well, she didn’t write “The Art of the Deal.” National best-seller. Very good book. When I’m president, I will say this to Iran:: ‘Give us all your oil, or we bomb you.’ Very simple. They have oil. We have bombers. Very simple. Make America great again. Nobody else can do this.

I would call up the president of Mexico, who I know. And he would try to call me back, but I wouldn’t take the call. I would make him wait. I would make him wait two days, three days, just to show how unimportant he is. Then maybe I would agree to take his call. And then I would say, “Stop the rapists.” Very simple. Why hasn’t anyone thought of this? They’re certainly not any good.

So, I see Reince Priebus over there. Party chairman. Very interesting. He calls me last year, after I announce that I’m running. I take his call. He begs me. “Please please please, stop telling the truth about the Mexicans.” That’s what he tells me. Who ever heard of this? Some people would say he’s incompetent. I would not say that. Eh, yes I would. Reince, you’re fired. Just kidding. I love Reince. But he needs to find a new job. Have to do it.

I see everything through. I want something, I take it.

So. I think it’s funny: These failed governors and failed senators — how many of them, 12, 15, 20? — they tried to win. They tried to beat me, but they’re horrible. Horrible. Not leaders. Overrated. They’re not good. They think they are. But they’re not good. Somebody said I am the most popular person in America because I am speaking the truth. These other people, they didn’t speak the truth. That’s why they lost. They’re losers. They’re scared, these other people.  And voters, they know that.

Now these same people call me up, want to meet with me. Ted Cruz — who I love — called me this morning. Says he found his birth certificate. I don’t know. Marco Rubio — he came to my suite — a very nice suite, by the way. “Please please please,” they beg. “Let me be your vice president.” No. Maybe I don’t need a vice president. Joe Biden? What does he do? Can somebody tell me? No. Vice president is for losers. Who needs a loser around?

According to the consultants— who I’m not big believers in, but, nevertheless, this is what they’re saying — my campaign needs more publicity. So I have this idea. I think it’s very good. The vice president, the guy’s an apprentice. The apprentice president. So. We start this TV show, “The Vice President,” and people compete for the job to be apprentice president. Very good show. Very entertaining. The winner is vice president for a year. Sign up on my websites. I have so many websites. I hire people, they do a website. It costs me $3. PresidentTrump.org. Go there.

Miss Universe 2013 Gabriela Isler, from Venezuela, left, and pageant owner Donald Trump, of the United States, point to each other while posing for a photo after the 2013 Miss Universe pageant in Moscow, Russia, on Saturday, Nov. 9, 2013. (AP Photo/Ivan Sekretarev)

Miss Universe 2013 Gabriela Isler, from Venezuela, and pageant owner Donald Trump. (AP)

So, to sum up, I will do various things very quickly. Iran, take their oil. Venezuela? Take their women. Have you seen their women? I own the Miss Universe contest — very good investment by the way, very good — and the contestants from Venezuela … very interesting. I would date their women. Their women — they call me, they beg a little, please please please. But I don’t date them. But I would. Very beautiful. Everybody loves me. That I can tell you.

So. Thank you. Thank you for this nomination. Watch my new television show. And why are we holding this convention in Cleveland? There is no Trump Hotel in Cleveland. Very foolish. When I get elected president I will bring Cleveland back bigger and better and stronger than ever before, and we will make America great again.

Our country needs a truly great leader, and we need a truly great leader now. I’m rich. Everybody loves me. The Hispanics will vote for me in droves. What could go wrong?

Reader Comments 0

1088 comments
Visual_Cortex
Visual_Cortex

Jay you are nuts. There is no way in hell that the Republicans would EVER nominate this clown. 

NEVAH!!!

Maggot_Man
Maggot_Man

Really, we can concern ourselves with ISIS, Iran, Greece and other societal struggles, but what really needs to be dealt with is how we handle the Bruce issue and all that courage…….can somebody help me here? I missed the speech of courage…how much time was spent memorializing the lady killed in the rear end collision caused by Bruce? If not, I suppose that'll show up in numerous reality shows. Perhaps we'll have to wait on that…..

fiftythreepercenter
fiftythreepercenter

"Obama Administration + torture + stain  519,000 hits "


Listening to the man speak is torture.  Geez......

BuckeyeGa
BuckeyeGa

Texas need to worry about the uproar over Sandra Bland

KUTGF
KUTGF

Religious conservatives descended on the Hood County Commissioners meeting in Texas on Tuesday demanding that LGBT books be censored or banned from the local public library, but ultimately lost out to those who argued for freedom of speech and tolerance.

After a local Tea Party chapter began circulating requests to have two LGBT-themed books — This Day in June and My Princess Boy — removed from the Hood County library Children’s section, residents swarmed the Commissioners’ court to speak out on the issue.  ... But residents supporting inclusiveness at the library also showed up to tell their very personal stories. ... In the end, commissioners decided to leave the LGBT-themed books in the children’s section of the library.

_____________


The intolerant Christians failed in Texas?  There may be hope yet even there. 

Michael B
Michael B

Is the current mrs trump privy to your claimed net worth, and are you concerned she might accelerate her plans for how to gain the most from her anticipated divorce? After all she might want to cash in before you waste more money on a fruitless campaign.

Michael B
Michael B

Yes, but he claimed his net worth increased by a couple billion in the last year. So, at a minimum some lawyer could claim she should have half of that. Also, for purposes of marriage I'm sure he represented a smaller net worth. So, a lawyer could claim she was misled when she signed the prenup.

Mrs trump might employ a mrs sterling strategy. She can show that his outrageous statements have lost numerous contracts and diminished his income. Mrs sterling used that strategy to gain control of the sterling businesses. Even to the point of selling their team.

Maggot_Man
Maggot_Man

@Michael B So naive……….how some of you get through a day without injuring yourselves is a mystery.

Michael B
Michael B

Ask the lenders on his project that just declared bankruptcy.

JamVet
JamVet

Wrong, based on six years of failed foreign polices...

I presume that Bull is FINALLY showing some remorse for his Stain on America gang, circa 2002 - 2008...

honested
honested

@JamVet 

Before remorse they would have to admit the failure.

History suggests that isn't possible.

Bulls_3y3
Bulls_3y3

@JamVet what stain???  You're opinion doesn't make it so it just shows your ignorance... You should really get that Bush on the brain checked out...

JamVet
JamVet

@Bulls_3y3 @JamVet 

Not just my opinion, oh unread one.

And YOU think that I care what YOU deem it?

You are a silly guy!

But you would be a better blogger and not look so ignorant if you read more.

A lot more!

Do yourself a favor and Google - Bush administration + torture + stain on America...

Bulls_3y3
Bulls_3y3

@JamVet  yes, talk torture & stain while the enemy is killing American soldiers...  Sad very sad

JamVet
JamVet

@honested @JamVet 

Which is why we have insane bloggers here writing that Bush won the war in Iraq, ed...

JamVet
JamVet

@Bulls_3y3 @JamVet 

Yep, the Bush/Cheney Stain on America is indeed that...

As for those soldiers that you supposedly lament, too bad yoru boys wouldn't even provide them with body armor, huh?

All while their families continue to suffer and you still worship and grovel at the Bush/Cheney Altar of Stains.


JamVet
JamVet

@ErwinsCat @JamVet @Bulls_3y3 

And the loyal, asleep at the wheel of good citizenship, Republican First, Last & Always Bull has never even heard of it, Erwin.

Not at all surprising, huh?

Which says pretty much everything about the suddenly disinterested (LOL!) Bull and his sadistic, depraved Stain on America torture heroes...

http://tinyurl.com/ntc7gzo

St Simons he-ne-ha
St Simons he-ne-ha

The feigned outrage industry has singlehandedly increased Murican productiviteh index by 2.

Its the only jerbs Republican ideology has created in 20 yrs

clowns

honested
honested

Maybe chump could improve his chances if he hired a chimpanze as VP.


Chump & the Chimp, half a brain between us

gotalife
gotalife

 The donald said he will get our country back.

Our country never went anywhere so have no idea what he is spewing about.

Must be a racist thingie.

ByteMe
ByteMe

@gotalife He wants to take it back from... um... Wall Street?

gotalife
gotalife

@ByteMe @gotalife  Perhaps he is talking about taking it back from wealthy billionaires . Wait a minute, he said he has 10 billion. We've been had.

LeninTime
LeninTime

@Bulls_3y3 

@LeninTime  a single Iranian official anywhere ever said "down with the Zionist regime!

a single Iranian  - Do you mean the President of Iran???  I don't remember any apology or take back for Iranian officials either. .

***
Why should anyone apologize?

Have any of the major Israeli political figures who've called openly for ethnic cleansing of the Palestinians apologized?

Bulls_3y3
Bulls_3y3

@LeninTime    Why should anyone apologize?   Maybe because it brings the two sides closer to war???

Which Israeli official said that???  In the same breath when will Palestinians apologize for those rocket attacks on Innocent citizens of Israel ??? In security regards for a country you'd make a terrible leader...



Nick_Danger
Nick_Danger

@Bulls_3y3 @LeninTime 

Obviously, I don't have the same world view that LT does, but I'd take a thoughtful leader (like LT) over a knee-jerk leader (like you) any day.

Bulls_3y3
Bulls_3y3

@Nick_Danger  Based on you're worthless posts  I bet you're a "Lead from Behind" guy... Hasn't worked for Obama but give it a go sport

JamVet
JamVet

@Nick_Danger @Bulls_3y3 @LeninTime 

Nick, regardless of opinions, the greatest difference is that LT is highly read.

I gather that Bull has precious little time for such "luxuries".

Although maybe like Sarah BarraClueless he reads a lot of People magazines...

Bulls_3y3
Bulls_3y3

@Nick_Danger  It means it's a lame response when you have no plan or strategy...  See the affects in Hillary's failed Libya plan ...  

JamVet
JamVet

Looks like Donnie can count kay along with O15 as loyal supporters.

They think he is going to make the GOP great again.

And America laughs...


KUTGF
KUTGF

The Associated Press reported this week that the GOP-led panel “has devolved from an investigation into the deaths of four Americans in Libya into a political fight over Hillary Rodham Clinton’s emails and private computer server – a battle that is likely to stretch into the 2016 presidential election year.”

Committee Chairman Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) and his GOP brethren are no longer being subtle about this. Just yesterday, several Democratic members of the committee wrote to Gowdy to remind him of his own Benghazi-related schedule, which Republicans are now ignoring. From the letter:
“At the beginning of this year, Select Committee Republicans provided Democrats with detailed information about their plans to hold 11 hearings between January and October on a wide range of topics relating to the Benghazi attacks. Since then, however, Republicans have completely abandoned this plan – holding no hearings at all since January and instead focusing on former Secretary Hillary Clinton. Amazingly, the last eight press releases on the Select Committee’s webpage deal entirely with Secretary Clinton.”

It’s almost as if the House’s Benghazi committee no longer has any interest in Benghazi.... Daily Kos’ Laura Clawson joked yesterday, “Nobody could possibly have foreseen when Republicans set up a select committee to investigate the Benghazi attack after all the previous investigations failed to yield a politically satisfactory result that it would turn into a partisan fishing expedition trying to hurt Hillary Clinton.  Oh, wait. Everyone paying even a little attention could foresee that.”...The committee is now in its 434th day, having spent roughly $3.8 million in taxpayer moneyAs we noted last month, if the committee continues its work past January 2016, which is a near certainty, it will be the longest congressional investigation in the history of the United States – longer than the investigation into the 9/11 attacks; longer than the Watergate probe; and longer than the Church Commission’s investigation into intelligence-agency abuses.

_______________


But but but...... we knows there has gotz to be something there.....

Bulls_3y3
Bulls_3y3

@KUTGF duh, how can you hold an investigation when the State Dept. Administration and Hillary hold back and lie about emails and individual actions...  FYI - Hillary should have thought about her actions as SOS before running for President.  Sorry this investigation is not based on Hillary's schedule

alexander2
alexander2

@KUTGF 57 % of Americans don't trust her, 0% of these republicans don't trust her, If her name is attached to the death of an ambassador ( as SofS), she's got problems and is vulnerable, Wait for the HC campaign to drag up events in her opponents that occurred years ago, yes it's politics..

LeninTime
LeninTime

@Bulls_3y3 @KUTGF 

Sorry this investigation is not based on Hillary's schedule

**
Uh, actually it kind of is.

JamVet
JamVet

@alexander2 @KUTGF 

If her name is attached to the death of an ambassador ( as SofS)...

The ONLY name attached to that death in a negative connotation for Americans is Mitt Romney.

And that loser is not running again.

Funny about the three stooges, Rick "Ice Age" Perry, Ricky "Tent Revival" Santorum and Mike "I'm a huckster for Christ" Huckabee though, huh?

alexander2
alexander2

@JamVet Interesting comment, "death in a negative connotation" and you say you're not angry, now settle down Jammie..get a grip, you're spinning...

Bulls_3y3
Bulls_3y3

@LeninTime  yea right... but jail time would interfere but what I'm saying she's a democrat so criminal action is expected..

LeninTime
LeninTime

@Bulls_3y3 

By 'petty', what I meant was some motive having purely to do with a personal concern or some agenda being advanced by a single leader or official, aside from the larger strategic assessments of the policy-making class. 

The claim that Obama did the Iran deal purely as a means of burnishing his profile in the history books and not as a bid to gain something for the Empire, for example, is such a petty claim. Or the claim that the Iran deal has no strategic motive other than the machinations of a petty official in the Obama regime (Valerie Jarrett) who has her own personal motives, etc. 

That's what it meant. I did not have race in mind.